


Don’t Belong to No City, Don’t Belong to No Man

by TeamDamon



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky is 23, Choking Kink, Daddy Kink, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Nomad Steve Rogers, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Shrunkyclunks, Top Steve Rogers, at first anyway, but that’s for much later, escort AU, escort bucky barnes, fic will cover the post-snap era and be very AU, kind of an endgame fix it in that i’m gonna do wtf I want and change a lot, post snap, truck stop hooker Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-08-23 05:46:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20237728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamDamon/pseuds/TeamDamon
Summary: Thankfully, Bucky seemed to find Steve’s innocence endearing. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’d fuck you for free if I could but... free doesn’t pay the bills.”Steve’s cheeks were bright red, his palms getting sweaty, and all that he managed to get out was, “Yeah, yeah, no, that makes - yeah. Makes sense.”“So whaddya say?” Bucky asked gently, inching closer by just a fraction. “I’ll make it worth your while, promise.”—AKA the Pre-IW Shrunkyclunks truck stop hooker!Bucky/nomad Steve AU nobody asked for :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my dudes and welcome to my latest attempt to start and actually finish something lol :D this was originally gonna be a stand-alone oneshot but then I realized it worked perfectly with a multi chapter fic idea MorningGlory2 and I had, and now here we are. My huge massive thanks to her as always for her help plotting and talking and reading over everything ilysm and thank you guys for reading!! Pls lemme know what you think! :D (also, I’m very pro-sex worker so I’m trying to make sure I stay sex work-positive here in every way possible but if I slip up or use the wrong word/term for something please let me know and I’ll edit ASAP)

It was a warm, balmy night in the Nevada desert, the oppressive heat of the sun thankfully gone as Steve walked the short distance from his cheap motel room to a gas station around the corner. He kept his hands in his jean pockets and his head down, not terribly worried about being recognized but the instinct to blend in and go unnoticed becoming second nature these days. He had Natasha and her skills to thank for that. 

They were there chasing a lead, a homegrown terrorist threat the latest to ping their radar. Nat and Sam were a few towns over until the next day, leaving Steve alone for the time being, and thus far he wasn’t enjoying the solitude. 

Once he arrived at the gas station - part of a rest stop that included showers and a cafe for truckers passing through - he wandered the small aisles and found nothing to pique his interest. He wasn’t particularly hungry, and the multitude of available beers and liquors wouldn’t do a damn thing for him, much as he wished otherwise. In the end he ended up grabbing just a bottle of water and a few chocolate bars, the visibly bored and tired cashier not giving him a second look as she completed the transaction. He walked out of the store afterwards, small plastic bag hanging from his fingers and a deep breath leaving his lips as he looked up at the starry night sky and lingered where he stood. 

He didn’t regret his actions that had led him here, not for a minute, but it didn’t make this new life as an international fugitive any easier. He still had Nat, Sam and Wanda but he also had the guilt of knowing how they’d suffered because of him, because of their loyalty to him, and he hated it. He hated how the Accords had driven a wedge between them and the rest of the team, and how hard it was to imagine any kind of real resolution for it any time in the near future. 

For now, this was it. This was life now. And it was more crushingly lonely than even Steve Rogers knew how to handle. 

“Got a light?”

The smooth, deep voice coming from his left startled Steve out of his morose thoughts, and he turned his head to find a young man standing next to him. He was nearly as tall as Steve, a headful of long dark brown hair tied up in a messy bun, and he was dressed rather shamelessly in a gray deep v neck shirt that was almost sheer and black skinny jeans that appeared to have been painted on his shapely legs. Black leather combat boots completed the look, and by the time Steve managed to drag his eyes up back to the other man’s, he’d forgotten the question. 

“What?”

The man smirked and removed the unlit cigarette from between his lips. “I need a light. Got one for me?”

Steve blinked, words failing him as he dug a hand into his pocket and produced a small lighter. He didn’t normally carry one but it was a handy thing to have while living off the grid. He held it out for the man to take but instead, he put the cigarette back between his lips and leaned in, intent clear. 

Steve swallowed dryly and flicked the lighter on, watching as the man lit up and inhaled. He didn’t understand why his heart started beating faster when his eyes flickered up to Steve’s, looking up at him through his lashes. 

“Thanks,” he drawled as he let out a lungful of smoke. He leaned back against the building, looking like the picture of casual ease as he looked Steve up and down and asked, “Drive a rig?”

Steve opened his mouth to say no just before remembering that he couldn’t exactly be honest with this stranger. He clamped his mouth shut, staring at the other man and finding himself embarrassingly incapable of coming up with a good lie or much in the way of  anything . 

The man grinned, taking a long, leisurely drag off of the cigarette. “Not much for words, huh?”

“Sorry,” Steve managed, licking his lips nervously.  _ Why was he nervous ?  _

“S’okay,” the man shrugged. “Sometimes talking’s overrated.” Then he paused, took another drag, and exhaled as he held out his right hand. “Bucky.”

Steve took his hand and, to his immediate chagrin, answered honestly, “Steve.” He could hear Natasha laughing at him already. 

“Hey Steve,” Bucky replied, the low, almost playful tone of his voice making Steve even more inexplicably nervous. “Got any plans for tonight?”

Once again, Steve opened his mouth but no words came out. When Bucky simply grinned even wider at his speechlessness, he managed to croak out, “No, not really.”

“That’s a shame,” Bucky opined, letting his eyes trail down Steve’s body. “I can change that, if you’d like.” Then he placed the cigarette back in his mouth and made the kind of eye contact that nobody, not even Steve, could misunderstand. 

Oh boy. 

“I don’t... think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Bucky asked. “Not into guys?”

Steve let out a rough exhale, almost laughing as he let his eyes drift everywhere besides the stranger standing next to him. “It’s not that.”

“Then why not? I’ll even give you a discount, one time offer,” Bucky winked, and for the first time it dawned on Steve that this wasn’t just some cute boy trying to get into an attractive stranger’s pants. This was... _Bucky_ was .... 

“Oh.  _Oh_ .” God, Steve could be so naive sometimes. That imaginary laughter from Nat was getting even louder. 

Thankfully, Bucky seemed to find Steve’s innocence endearing. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’d fuck you for free if I could but... free doesn’t pay the bills.”

Steve’s cheeks were bright red, his palms getting sweaty, and all that he managed to get out was, “Yeah, yeah, no, that makes - yeah. Makes sense.”

“So whaddya say?” Bucky asked gently, inching closer by just a fraction. “I’ll make it worth your while, promise.”

Steve stared at the young man, knowing that he should say no. There were no less than a bajillion reasons why he should say no, and all of them were perfectly logical and reasonable. He never would have even considered something like this on his own, far too used to being lonely and just dealing with it, the idea of paying for sex not one that he judged but simply never considered for himself before. 

But there was something about the man, his pretty gray-blue eyes and pouty pink lips, scruffy jawline that was sharp enough to cut glass. He looked as dangerous as he was sweet, and Steve didn’t doubt for a second that Bucky would make his head spin. 

This wasn’t something Steve did. He wasn’t a virgin but he didn’t do casual sex, genuinely didn’t have much of a desire for it. He liked sex but he liked it with someone he shared a real connection with, and usually strangers - no matter how gorgeous they were - didn’t stir much arousal within him. 

And that made it all the more puzzling and somewhat startling as to how on earth this man was sparking such an instant desire that Steve could feel damn near in his  bones . Was he _that_ lonely? 

“Ain’t got all night, big guy,” Bucky grinned before inhaling the last of his cigarette. He then dropped it and put it out with his boot, eyes never leaving Steve’s. 

Later Steve would wonder what the hell possessed him to nod his consent, but the very second he did Bucky’s eyes lit up with excitement and  God ... Steve’s jeans were already feeling too tight. He felt almost dizzy as he watched Bucky push off the wall and jerk his head forward, motioning for Steve to follow him as he began walking towards the same motel that Steve was staying at. Steve shoved his free hand into his pocket and looked down as he fell into step behind Bucky, mind racing with both disbelief and the kind of thrill he hadn’t felt in ages. It felt unreal, the idea of falling into bed with a beautiful stranger for a night - and paying for it - but now that he’d gotten this far, the idea of backing out felt excruciating somehow. He didn’t understand it but like hell was he gonna question it. 

Bucky led Steve to a room on the opposite side of the building from where Steve’s room was, unlocking it with a keycard and opening the door for Steve to walk through first. Steve stepped in to find a clean room identical to his own, the only difference being a backpack that belonged to Bucky sitting next to the still-made bed. 

The door shut with a slightly jarring thud behind Steve, and then Bucky was walking past him and emptying his pockets on a small table. “So ground rules,” he said as he tossed down a pack of cigarettes - and a lighter, Steve noticed with amusement - “don’t hit me, don’t spit on me, don’t piss on me. Pull any of that shit and we’re done. And condoms are non-negotiable.”

“Understood,” Steve nodded, still hardly able to believe that this was really happening. 

“Any questions?” Bucky asked, turning towards Steve but maintaining the distance between them. “Requests?”

Steve’s mouth went dry at that. He blinked a few times, brain misfiring until he managed to ask, “Do I... pay you now or -“

Bucky smiled. “Yeah, you pay upfront. Feel free to add a tip later after I blow your mind.”

Bucky then winked, and Steve’s eyebrows inched up his forehead. “You sure got confidence, kid.”

“You’ll see why soon enough,” Bucky smirked, and Steve had to take a deep, full breath before he could form his next words. 

“How much?” Steve asked, pulling out his wallet and ignoring the horrified little voice in the back of his head demanding to know what the hell he was thinking. 

“For you, $300.”

Steve was expecting a higher number, but he handed over the cash without a word. Bucky took it and put it in his own wallet, then eyed Steve as he stepped closer to him and reached out. 

Steve blinked with surprise as Bucky pried the plastic bag with his water and chocolate out of his hand and set it on the table with a small smile. “You’ve been hangin’ on to that bag for dear life this whole time.”

Steve smiled sheepishly, casting his eyes down. “Sorry. Nervous.”

“I’d have never guessed,” Bucky teased, cocking his head a little. “Want a drink? Might loosen you up a little.”

Steve sighed, shaking his head. If only a drink would help. “No thanks.” Then he paused and eyed Bucky a little more closely. “You old enough to drink?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I know I’ve got a baby face but I’m twenty fuckin’ three, all right? You’re not robbing any cradles.”

23 was still pretty young, Steve couldn’t help but think, but... well, Bucky _was_ an adult, and it’s not like they were about to exchange wedding vows. It wasn’t that deep. 

“Okay,” Steve nodded quietly. “So... how does this work?”

And just like that, he watched Bucky physically sink back into seduction mode. It was kind of amazing, how his body language suddenly went all pliant and open, chin tipping back as he approached Steve and closed the distance between them. “Well, Steve,” he purred, gently grabbing each side of the dark blue jacket he wore, “that’s up to you.” When replied with only a sharp inhale, his eyes roving over Bucky’s features, Bucky’s expression softened. “You don’t usually do this, huh?”

Steve let out a breathless laugh, cheeks reddening under his beard. “You could say that.”

“It’s okay,” Bucky assured him, smoothing his hands soothingly over Steve’s broad shoulders. “Nothing wrong with that. Come here.”

Steve let Bucky take his hand and lead him to the bed, Bucky sitting him down on the edge and then unexpectedly kneeling between his legs. But all he did was gently push the jacket off of Steve’s shoulders and pull it from his arms, leaving him in just the white t shirt underneath, and then... then he sat back on his heels and started pulling off Steve’s shoes. 

It was strangely sweet and nothing like what Steve had expected, though to be fair he’d had no idea what to expect. But it surely hadn’t been this beautiful boy kneeling in front of him, taking the task of getting Steve more comfortable into his own hands and then, when he was done, looking up at Steve so sweetly that it made his heart skip a beat. 

“Can I sit on your lap, Steve?” Bucky asked as he slowly rose up to his feet. Steve nodded quickly, and when Bucky sat smoothly across Steve’s thighs, Steve’s arm wrapped around his waist out of instinct. 

One arm around Steve’s shoulders, Bucky placed his free hand at the center of Steve’s chest and murmured, “Relax, baby.”

“I’m trying,” Steve admitted, giving another sheepish smile. He looked up into Bucky’s eyes and found nothing there but patience and kindness, and damn this kid was good at his job. 

“Don’t worry,” Bucky murmured, leaning in closer and brushing the tip of his nose against Steve’s. “I’ve got you.” Then he pressed a feather soft kiss to Steve’s lips, and it was the most gentle kiss that Steve had ever experienced. 

It was over too fast. Bucky pulled away, both men opening their eyes just long enough to share a heated look before Steve reached up and slid his fingers into Bucky’s hair, pulling him back in and this time they kissed like they meant it. 

Bucky’s lips were wonderfully, deliciously soft, the scruff surrounding them providing a lovely contrast that Steve decided he rather liked. Their kisses were sweet at first but slowly grew more hungry, Steve’s mouth opening to welcome the tongue that softly asked for entrance, and he groaned aloud at the first brush of Bucky’s tongue against his own. 

This was crazy and probably stupid and a million other things but Steve just didn’t have it in him to care. Something about this man drew him in like a moth to a flame, and despite a reputation to the contrary... Steve was only human. It was only a matter of minutes before he was kissing Bucky harder, deeper, and pulling him closer while keeping his hands in safe places. But Bucky didn’t allow that to last long. 

Bucky took Steve’s hand in his and brought it to his chest, running Steve’s palm up and down his thin shirt as he murmured against his lips, “C’mon, Steve. You paid for me - m’all yours, don’t be shy. Touch me.”

Steve groaned lowly and groped at Bucky through his shirt, finding his pecs toned and perfect, nipples hard already as his thumb swiped over one through the fabric.Bucky let out a breath into the kiss they were locked into, Steve’s walls coming down more and more with each touch they shared, slipping his hand under that damn sheer shirt and finding miles of soft, tempting skin underneath. 

It felt only natural, then, when Bucky shifted to straddle Steve’s lap and lifted his arms as Steve began to tug at his shirt, the fabric hitting the floor as Steve took a moment to admire the gorgeous man sitting on his lap. Steve ran his hands over him, from his waist to his shoulders and everything in between, looking up as Bucky reached out to touch his hair. It was longer than it had ever been in his life and he wasn’t especially happy about it, but the way that Bucky looked at him made him feel a little better about himself. 

“God,” Bucky muttered under his breath, shaking his head slightly. “ _Fucking hell_. ”

Steve would have asked what was wrong but Bucky’s mouth devouring his rendered him silent. He broke away only a few seconds later to pull at Steve’s shirt, and once it was off he groaned again as he took in the perfection that was Steve’s chest. Steve was used to people marveling over his physique, but the fact that Bucky didn’t seem to recognize him and didn’t realize that it was all thanks to the serum made Steve enjoy the attention much more than he usually did. 

“You live in the gym, Steve?” Bucky asked, all but drooling all over himself as he felt Steve up. 

“... Something like that,” Steve grinned, though the smirk fell right off of his face when Bucky slid off of his lap and sunk to his knees, pressing his lips to Steve’s chest as he slowly made his way down, kissing and licking all the way. Steve leaned back on his hands and let himself enjoy the attention, closing his eyes and losing himself to the moment, but that moment of serene pleasure didn’t last long. 

Steve’s brain came back online quick when Bucky’s hands found his belt, deftly undoing it as he nuzzled the soft hair dusted across Steve’s chest. Then he was moving lower, hands not the least bit shy as they unfastened Steve’s jeans and reached inside them, mouth and tongue marking a pointed trail under Steve’s navel, and Steve acted on impulse as he grabbed at Bucky’s hair and panted, “Wait, wait, wait.”

Bucky froze at once, pulling his hands away and sitting back on his heels to look up at Steve with cancern. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t... I don’t know, I just... shit,” Steve sighed, dragging a hand over his face and inwardly cursing himself. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, man,” Bucky said, placing his hands on Steve’s denim-clad thighs and rubbing them softly. “Listen, there’s no pressure, okay? You’re the boss here. You don’t want me to suck you off, I won’t. You do, I will. Simple as that.”

Steve nodded, inhaling deeply and taking in the flushed state of Bucky’s pretty face. His eyes were dilated too, pools of black by now, and every sign that Steve knew to look for indicated that Bucky was genuinely aroused, too. And yet... he couldn’t quite shake an annoying sense of guilt that was nagging at him. 

“Guess I just... feel like I’m taking advantage of you,” Steve confessed, and to his surprise, Bucky actually laughed at that. 

“Listen, pal,” Bucky grinned, “ _I_ picked  _you_ up. And nobody’s forcing me to do this - I chose sex work the same way anyone chooses any job. So whatever ideas you got in your head about this... let ‘em go, ‘cause it ain’t real.”

Steve nodded, now feeling badly for a whole other reason. “Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Bucky smiled and shook his head. “I’m not offended, Steve. Do you want this? You want me?”

Steve nodded again, without hesitation. “Yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m positive,” Steve all but growled in reply, the ferocity of his words surprising even himself. 

“Good,” Bucky murmured through a crooked smile as he placed a hand over Steve’s clothed, hard cock, rubbing and teasing and making Steve lose his breath. “Then sit back and let me suck you off.”

And while Steve wasn’t particularly good at taking orders, this was one that he was happy to follow. That annoying sense of guilt now banished at least for the moment, he took a steadying breath and watched as Bucky tugged his pants and boxers down his thighs, freeing his already-dripping cock at last. Bucky let out a low whistle and Steve could feel himself blushing up a storm, from his cheeks down all the way to his abs. 

“Well, _fuck me_, Steve,” Bucky groaned as he took Steve in hand, giving him a few firm, slick strokes. “I figured you were big but  _holy shit_ ...”

Steve opened his mouth to babble some kind of bullshit response but Bucky’s hot tongue licking a decadent line from the base to the tip of his cock left him unable to do anything but moan low and rough. Bucky teased him like that for a bit, stroking and licking and pressing filthy kisses to the velvet skin until it wasn’t enough for either of them anymore. Bucky took him in his mouth with a practiced ease, pretty pink lips stretched so enticingly around him that Steve could hardly stand it, mouth feeling like nothing short of paradise as Bucky made good on his promise to blow Steve’s mind. 

It was so damn good, so damn  _perfect_ , Steve had to wonder how he’d survived so long without this. It wasn’t his first blow job but it was by far the best already, and the first time he felt himself hit the back of Bucky’s throat... that was when he knew he was done for. 

“Buck - Bucky, I’m not - I’m gonna - oh  _fucking fuck_ ,” Steve gasped when he felt himself hit that breaking point, unable to stop it even if he’d wanted to. Bucky pulled off just in time and stroked him hard and fast, watching as Steve came with a roar that the thin motel walls could never hope to contain. Steve’s stomach, chest and even his neck became covered in so much come that it made Bucky’s eyes widen a little bit, unaware that it was more or less normal for a super soldier like Steve. 

Steve was panting hard when he opened his eyes, all the tension in his body gone in the wake of that exquisite orgasm. He’d needed it badly, more so than he could have ever imagined, and when he looked down at Bucky still kneeling between his legs and looking a bit flabbergasted, he asked breathlessly, “What?”

“Nothing,” Bucky quickly answered with a small shrug. “S’just... that was... a lot. And, uh...” He examined the dick that his hand was still wrapped around briefly before adding, “You’re... still hard.”

Steve gave a small laugh. “Yeah,” he shrugged. “Happens.”

Bucky raised a brow. “It does?”

Steve grinned and nodded. He kind of liked having the serum be a secret for once. God bless the beard and longer hair for doing such a good job of concealing his identity. “Hey, kid, grab me a towel, would you?”

“Yeah...” Bucky nodded, still staring at Steve and his dick and his chest like he was some kind of equation he couldn’t quite solve as he stood up and headed to the bathroom. He returned less than a minute later with a clean, warm towel, taking it upon himself to clean Steve up for him. 

“You know,” Bucky said as he ran the towel over Steve’s chest, “kinda a shame to clean you up. Looked fuckin’ hot like that.”

Steve grinned at Bucky, waiting until he was done and the towel tossed aside to reach up and pull him down for a hungry kiss. Now that the edge had been taken off, Steve could think more clearly and sharply, and he felt less like he was about to vibrate out of his skin and more like he was ready to truly have this man and make it worth both of their time. He deepened the kiss and laid back on the bed, taking Bucky with him, and Bucky happily took the opportunity to stretch out on top of Steve and kiss the hell out of him. 

Then Steve held him tight and flipped them over, smiling wide when Bucky laughed against his lips at the unexpected change. Steve pulled away to look at the man underneath him, long hair an absolute wreck beneath his head and bottom lip caught between his teeth, so fucking pretty it almost hurt. He leaned down and kissed him long and hard one more time before pulling away to first yank off his own pants and then finally get Bucky naked the way he should have been since the start of the whole thing. 

And once all of their remaining clothes had hit the floor, Bucky sat up just long enough to pull his hair free from its haphazard bun, letting it fall and graze the tops of his shoulders. Then he leaned back against the pillows and laid his arms back above his head, letting his legs fall open in a clear invitation to Steve that had him nearly coming all over again right then and there. 

“My God, fuckin’ look at you,” Steve groaned, getting back on the bed and crawling up towards Bucky. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

This time it was Bucky’s turn to blush, and Steve gave him no chance to dispute those words before he leaned down and captured his lips in an unforgiving kiss. He covered Bucky’s body with his own, all skin against skin and heat against heat, and somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if anything would ever be the same after tonight. But that was a worry for another time. 

Steve got caught up in the haze between them, their kisses growing near-sloppy and ravenous as their bodies found an easy and satisfying rhythm that came so seemingly natural it boggled Steve’s mind. Before he knew it they were grinding together, hips aligned just right and cocks sliding together deliciously, Bucky making sweet little noises against Steve’s lips that sent shivers down his spine. 

“Feel good?” Steve asked, drawing away only to kiss along Bucky’s jaw. 

“Yeah, Steve,” Bucky whimpered, reachingdown to grab at Steve’s ass and rock them together harder. “ _Fuck_ .”

Steve grinned a little and picked up the pace, Bucky not hesitating to match it, and then he let out a moan so real and hungry that Steve couldn’t help it - he gasped and shuddered as he came for a second time, all over Bucky’s body as Bucky stared up at Steve in utter bewilderment once he realized what was happening. 

“Did you just...”

“Yeah,” Steve panted, nodding and dropping his head against Bucky’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

“That’s... okay,” Bucky replied with amusement, his smile audible. He rubbed a hand up and down Steve’s back and asked, “So... was that... are you...”

“Done? Nah,” Steve shook his head, lifting up and shifting to Bucky’s side so that he could look him over properly. Anything else he might have added died on his tongue at the sight of Bucky’s dick covered in Steve’s come. It was on his stomach too, some trickling down one of his hipbones, and  _fuck_ didn’t that make a hell of a beautiful sight. 

“...  You’re  still hard?”

Steve grinned and met Bucky’s disbelieving gaze. “Looks that way.”

“Are you an alien or something?” Bucky asked with a laugh. “You do kinda remind me of Thor...”

Steve laughed, the poor kid having no idea why he’d find that so hysterically funny, but that was okay. He changed the subject by tripping his fingers through the mess on Bucky’s skin and then grasping his cock, giving him a few firm strokes and asking, “This okay?”

Bucky laughed a little, sinking back into the pillows with a quiet groan. “Ain’t gonna hear me complainin’.”

“You’re not from around here, are you?” Steve asked as he leisurely stroked up and down, the accent coming from the boy unmistakable. 

Bucky shook his head. “But I  _am_ human, unlike you. Or at least your dick.”

Steve gave him a quick little squeeze for that one, pulling a gasp out of Bucky. “Brooklyn?”

“That obvious?”

Steve shrugged. “Can I fuck you?”

Bucky groaned, not having expected that question and frankly, neither had Steve. “Shit, man, that’s what I’m here for, right?”

“Yeah, but I only want it if you do too,” Steve replied, expression and tone those of the utmost sincerity, and Bucky couldn’t help but smile a little in reply. 

He reached down and took Steve’s hand, then ran it through the rest of the mess on his stomach and eased it down between his legs. “Go on, Daddy. Open me up for that magic cock.”

Steve’s brain short circuited and didn’t even catch that little joke on the end of that sentence. He blinked, hand frozen between Bucky’s thighs. “Wh -“

Bucky’s eyes darkened and he grinned utterly wickedly. “Oh you like that, huh? I knew it the second I saw you. You’re a walking Daddy kink.”

Steve stared down at Bucky in alarm and arousal and everything in between. “I -“

“Shh,” Bucky hushed him, reaching his free hand into Steve’s hair and pulling his down for a kiss while his other hand urged Steve’s closer. “C’mon, don’t keep me waiting, Daddy.”

Steve groaned into his mouth and nearly came a third time untouched, acting on instinct and slightly wild hunger as he slid a finger inside of Bucky without preamble. For a second he feared it was too much too soon but Bucky simply mewled and accepted the touch, and Steve exhaled in relief as he deepened their kisses and marveled at the heat and tightness of the man beneath him. This was gonna be so good, maybe too good, and his first two orgasms had done nothing to tamper his desire. 

Bucky set the pace, telling Steve when he was ready for more and writhing and moaning like nothing Steve had ever seen when he was three fingers deep and hitting that perfect spot within. Steve would have let himself get carried away and made Bucky come like that had Bucky not told him to stop when it became too much, telling him, “I’m not like you, can’t come over and over.”

Steve chuckled and shifted to let Bucky lean over the side of the bed and grab his backpack. It gave Steve a lovely view of Bucky’s ass, which he slapped just as Bucky was grabbing a full bottle of lube and a condom from his pack. 

“Hey!” Bucky squeaked, grinning at Steve over his shoulder. 

Steve smiled back, rubbing where he’d slapped him and shrugging, “Couldn’t help it. _Look_ at this ass.”

Bucky tossed the lube on the bed and arched his back, tossing Steve a sly look as he struck a mouth-watering pose. “Yeah? I was kinda hoping you’d do more than look at it.”

Steve licked his lips and grabbed the condom, playing along as he ripped the package open and slipped it on. “What were you hoping for exactly?”

“For you to fuck me so hard I feel you all week,” Bucky murmured back, and  _God_ this kid was gonna be the death of him. 

“ Sure about that?” Steve asked, getting up on his knees and grabbing Bucky’s hips, manhandling him to his hands and knees in the middle of the bed where he wanted him. He gave his ass another good smack and added, “I can’t hear you.”

“Yes yes yes,” Bucky babbled, beautifully compromised. “God, give it to me.”

“How do you ask?” Steve asked, pouring the lube and wondering when the hell he’d started talking like this. 

Bucky bit his lip and gave Steve a sweet, filthy pleading look over his shoulder. “Please, Daddy?”

Steve stared at him for a moment and then closed his eyes, groaning under his breath like he was being pushed to his absolute limits, “_Fuckin’ hell, kid_...”

Bucky giggled - legitimately  _giggled_ \- at Steve’s reaction, but Steve wasn’t about to let him get away with that. He cut off that little laugh by pushing inside of him without hesitation, barely giving him any time to adjust before he was fully seated and enveloped by the tight, delicious heat. Just as Steve wanted, it left Bucky reeling and grasping at the sheets, moaning and doing all he could just to stay upright. 

But Steve was no sadist, of course. He rubbed Bucky’s back gently before leaning forward and kissing the back of his shoulder, giving him a moment or two before he asked, “Ready?” Bucky nodded in the affirmative, and Steve didn’t waste any time after that. 

It was good, so damn good that Steve could hardly even comprehend it in the moment. He hadn’t felt this free and this  _real_ in ages, this simple decadence of touching another person without violence or innocence leaving him feeling more human and alive than he had in far longer than he’d ever admit. He didn’t know how or why this was happening and how he’d found this with this young man in the middle of the Nevada desert but hell if he wasn’t grateful to the universe for allowing their paths to cross that night. 

Steve was pounding away, holding Bucky’s hips up and getting lost in the rhythm. It wasn’t long before he could feel his release creeping up on him, and it was far too soon - he wasn’t done with Bucky yet, and while Bucky was writhing and moaning and clearly enjoying himself, he wasn’t quite there yet and Steve wasn’t coming without him. 

He pulled out and grabbed Bucky again, rearranging them both until Steve was sitting against the pillows and bedframe and Bucky was in his lap, facing him. “Wanna see your pretty face,” Steve murmured in explanation, tracing a finger along Bucky’s cheekbone and getting that sweet blush in response. 

Bucky leaned in and kissed him as he reached back and lined them up, sinking down on Steve’s length with a groan that they shared between kiss-swollen lips. “God, you feel fuckin’ amazing,” Bucky marveled once Steve was buried to the hilt. 

“So do you,” Steve panted as that exquisite tightness squeezed around him once more. He ran his hands all over Bucky, from his thighs to his ass to his sides and his shoulders, savoring every touch and point of contact as Bucky began leisurely rocking back and forth on his cock. 

For awhile, Steve let Bucky have his way and ride him like that, like they had all the time in the world. He simply sat back and and enjoyed the view, touching him as he pleased and admiring the effortlessly smooth roll and surge of his body. His long hair was a beautiful mess on his shoulders and his skin reddened where Steve’s beard had rubbed against it, and his cock was painfully hard and leaking where it stood between them but Steve didn’t touch it. He wanted him to come untouched. 

And when Steve’s patience ran out, he sat up straight and pulled Bucky into a furious, hard kiss as he locked an arm around his waist and took control, fucking up into Bucky and making him yelp with pleasure. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s broad shoulders and held on, rocking with him as they raced to the end in each other’s arms, sharing open-mouthed kisses and hard breaths, the occasional scrape of teeth. 

It was incredible but it couldn’t last forever. Steve noticed when Bucky’s rhythm began to falter and his noises grew breathless, tugging his head back by his hair and asking with his lips to Bucky’s ear, “Gonna come for me, Bucky?” When Bucky answered only by digging his short nails into Steve’s shoulders and riding him harder, Steve growled, “Good boy. Come for me, just like this, just from my cock.”

And Bucky obeyed beautifully. Steve pulled back just far enough to watch him come apart, that pretty face full of pleasure as it overtook him from the inside out, pulling Steve over the edge right with him. He watched for as long as he could until he couldn’t help but close his eyes and lose himself, tugging Bucky as close to his chest as he could as his third and final orgasm washed over him. 

They stayed like that for awhile, Bucky slumped against Steve’s chest and their arms slung around each other, breathing slowly returning to normal as they basked in the afterglow. Neither of them said a word until Bucky shifted, Steve slipping out of him with the motion and Bucky grinning, “So... three times, huh?”

Steve laughed, light and airy. “What can I say. Stamina... or something.”

“I’m gonna stick with alien,” Bucky teased.“But I’m sure not complaining.”

“Good,” Steve murmured before leaning forward and capturing Bucky’s lips in a slow, lazy kiss. It didn’t occur to him that maybe Bucky wasn’t used to that kind of thing until they pulled apart and he opened his eyes to find Bucky looking at him a bit curiously. 

... Right. This was... Steve had  paid for this. He’d almost forgotten. It had been easy to forget with Bucky, it came so easily for them. 

Thankfully, Bucky saved Steve the awkwardness of figuring out what came next. He gave Steve a quick little kiss and disentangled from him, reaching for the discarded towel from earlier as he said, “You can use the shower if you want before you go.”

Steve nodded, grateful for the clear cue to go even if he didn’t really want to part ways. “Right,” he said as he got up from the bed. “That’s okay. I’ve got a room here too, I’ll shower there.”

“Okay,” Bucky replied, tossing Steve the towel. He did what he could to clean himself up and then began redressing as Bucky walked to the bathroom and flipped on the shower, presumably to get the water hot and ready for himself. 

Steve was fully dressed and putting his wallet into his back pocket and trying not to freak out as reality began to slowly descend upon him when a light tap on his shoulder made him turn around. 

“Hey,” Bucky grinned, tone low and body still completely bare as he reached up and cupped Steve’s cheeks. “Take care, all right?” Then he kissed him, and Steve felt his heart do something funny. 

It was soft and sweet, the kind of kiss that made Steve  _ache_. A kiss hadn’t made him ache in... God, how long had it been? Had a kiss _ever_ made him feel like that? 

Then Bucky pulled away, and Steve had to swallow and blink a few times before he could form words properly. “Yeah,” he nodded, voice a little more hoarse than usual. “You too. Thank you for... um...”

Bucky laughed. “Yeah, you’re welcome. I’d give you my number but I get the feeling you’re just passing through.”

Steve nodded. “Something like that.”

Bucky nodded back. “That’s okay. M’glad I met you.” He leaned forward and stole another kiss, then one more before he began to pull away only to be thwarted by Steve’s hands on his hips. Steve pulled him closer and kissed him long and deep, unable to control his quickly rekindling hunger with Bucky so warm and naked and pliant in his arms. And Bucky didn’t exactly resist. 

By the time they came up for air, Steve was fully hard again under his jeans and Bucky was half-hard and flushed, looking up at Steve in a bit of a daze. They stared at each other for one long, heated moment before Steve asked lowly, “How much for all night?”

A slow grin crept across Bucky’s face. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanos snaps his fingers and everything goes to hell. A year later, both Steve and Bucky are just trying to get through the day when their paths unexpectedly cross again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg you guys thank you so much for the response to this fic!! I love you guys to the moon and back and I hope you like this chapter :D big thanks to MorningGlory2 for helping me figure this thing out as I go and always being there!! *giant hugs to all*

Though they parted ways the next morning and never expected to cross paths again, neither Steve nor Bucky ever forgot the other. Bucky was pretty sure that he’d forget his own name before he forgot an all-night sex bender with a man who’d had no less than _twelve_ orgasms \- maybe more, a s  Bucky had lost count. 

Even harder to forget was a news report that Bucky saw in passing a few months later, a press conference from the US Attorney General updating the public on the international search for the fugitive Avengers. A photo was shared, slightly grainy from a surveillance video, of a man purported to be Steve Rogers leaving a market in France. While not the clearest image, Bucky found his jaw on the floor the minute he glanced at it. 

There was no mistaking that beard, that hair, and those pretty blue eyes. And suddenly, Steve's almost inhuman stamina made perfect sense. 

He’d had sex with Steve Rogers. Captain America. Captain America... Steve Rogers... had paid to have sex with him. And  _God_ , it had been the best sex of his life. It was a real crying shame that they’d surely never see each other again. 

Steve, for his part, went on with life on the run and kept his memories of that night close to his heart - and  mind . He didn’t tell a soul about what he’d done and he wasn’t ashamed of it either. He only wished that he could see Bucky again, touch him again... see that beautiful blissed-out look on his face as he came undone again. 

He knew that Natasha could find him, probably, if he asked her to. Finding people who didn’t necessarily want to be found was part of her skill set. He almost gave in and asked her to a few times, but then Thanos snapped his fingers and the whole universe went to hell and suddenly he couldn’t bear to know if there was even a Bucky left to find. 

He didn’t know that Bucky was one of the lucky ones, spared despite praying and wishing otherwise. But he would find out eventually. 

—

It was an unremarkable day, really. Bucky was back home in NYC, stretching lazily before easing out of his latest client’s bed, mentally debating what to order in for dinner later as he reached for his clothes. After slipping his underwear back on, he glanced back at his client and grinned as she took a languid drag from the cigarette perched between her manicured fingers. 

“Mind sharing?” he asked, leaning over the bed and taking a grateful puff when she smiled and held it to his lips. He exhaled and then took the cigarette from her when she motioned for him to do so, resting it between his lips as he began redressing. “Thanks, honey. We still on for next Wednesday?”

The woman, an attractive and easy to satisfy blonde in her 40s whom he was pretty sure was a lawyer, stretched her arms over her head and gave him a sultry look. “I’ll take you whenever I can get you.”

Bucky let out a low whistle as he pulled on his black skinny jeans. “Damn, woman. Sure you can make it that long?”

She shrugged, smiling. “Guess we’ll find out.”

“Well,” Bucky said as he pulled his shirt on over his head, “I’m free on Sunday so let me know if you wanna squeeze something in, okay?” When she didn’t answer, he glanced back her way only to freeze and furrow his brows. 

Where she had previously been lounging naked and sleepily in bed, now there was nothing. Nothing except... what seemed to be dust flitting through the air. 

Bucky blinked and stared at the dust, then began looking around the room. “... Jen?” When she still didn’t answer, he looked back at the dust - now collecting on the sheets - and called a bit louder, “Jen, where’d you go?”

She’d been  right _there_ only seconds earlier. Where could she have gone? Where had the dust come from? What was - 

A blood-curdling scream from somewhere else in the apartment building made Bucky jolt. An unpleasant rush of confused fear racing down his spine, Bucky gave one last bewildered look to the bed before grabbing his phone, wallet and keys and heading towards the door. He called Jen’s name a few more times and looked for her in hEr other rooms but she was nowhere to be found, and judging by the screaming getting louder the closer he got to the front door, something bad was happening in the hallway. 

He opened the door to find a young mother on her knees a few doors down, a diaper bag and infant car seat on the floor next to her as she wailed and screamed in a way that made every hair on Bucky’s body stand on end. 

“ _My baby_ !” she cried, staring down at her empty arms. “ _Oh my God, my baby_ !”

Bucky took a few steps closer, dialing 911 on his phone out of instinct but stopping short when he saw the dust that the woman’s arms were covered in. 

Behind him, a man came running up the staircase to see what the screaming was about, but the minute he and Bucky made eye contact the man simply just... disintegrated. A cloud of dust swirled to the floor, all that was left of him. 

Bucky’s horrified voice came out smaller than it had ever been in his life. “ Oh God. ”

He started running. He ran out of the apartment building and into the street, finding absolute chaos happening all around him. Cars crashed into one another and created massive pileups as their drivers disappeared, terrified pedestrians blew away as if they’d never even existed at all, and meanwhile Bucky called his mother and sister over and over on his phone as he ran as fast as he could to their house on the other side of town. When neither his mom nor Becca answered a single one of his calls, bone-deep panic drove his feet to fly even faster across the pavement. 

Deep down, he already knew. But he hoped to God that he was wrong. 

When he finally reached his mother’s townhouse, he threw open the door and screamed for her and Becca. He raced up the stairs, heart in his throat, and found the townhouse empty. 

In the kitchen, an abandoned tea kettle whistled loudly on the stovetop. In front of the stove, on the tile floor, Bucky discovered with horror, was a pile of dust. On the counter, two mugs with tea bags sitting inside. 

At the table, a chair sat slightly ajar - Becca’s usual chair, now covered in its own thin layer of dust. On the table in front of it was her iPhone, unlocked and mid-text to Bucky:  _hey nerd when are you coming h_

Bucky’s knees hit the floor. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t hear himself screaming and wouldn’t have ever realized it if not for the resulting burn in his throat. His phone, previously clenched in an iron grip, hit the floor next to him and clattered away uselessly. 

Hyperventilating, Bucky stared at his own hands and waited for the dust to take him next. He didn’t fear it - he _wanted_ it , wanted whatever was happening to claim him next because this was too much,  too much, _it couldn’t be real, it couldn’t_ _\- _

But the dust never came for him. Even as sirens and screams filled the city outside, planes falling from the sky and collateral damage causing just as much pain and mayhem as the dust itself, Bucky kept breathing. The world was ending and yet it didn’t have the decency to take him with it. 

Next to him on the floor, his forgotten phone lit up with emergency news alerts. They urged citizens to remain calm and seek shelter but provided no information because not a damn person in the world knew what the hell was happening, least of all the government or the media. 

Bucky didn’t even bother to look at his phone. Instead he cried until he couldn’t anymore, ending up lying on the cold tile floor between the ash piles of what had been his only family. At some point he fell unconscious, his body simply shutting down when it all became too much. He hoped that he wouldn’t wake up. 

But he did. And his existence became a hazy, horrible blur of grief and trauma, and just like the rest of the world he had to figure out how to keep living without everyone who had been lost. 

He didn’t know how to even begin to try. 

—

_One year later _

Steve bolted upright in bed, drenched in a cold sweat and heart racing a mile a minute. He panted like he’d just finished a marathon, mind slowly adjusting from his latest heart-wrenching nightmare back to reality, but the sad truth was... reality was worse than any nightmare he’d ever endured. 

Clenching his jaw and running his fingers through his hair, Steve swallowed down a lump in his dry throat before glancing at the clock on his nightstand. 4:24 AM - it would have to do, he sighed as he threw off the covers and began his day two hours earlier than he’d hoped to. 

A whole damn year had passed since the Snap, but God help him if every new morning didn’t shock the hell out of him all over again. Sam, Wanda, T’Challa... so many gone. So many lost. And not even a shred of hope to cling to for their return. 

There was nothing to do but move on and try to make the best of what was left, but Steve was no closer to figuring out how to do that than he had been a year ago. The pain hadn’t dulled, hadn’t faded one bit, and neither had the sting of his failure to prevent the Snap. At this point, he was starting to think that it would never get better. This was just the new horrible normal for him and countless others - a universe without the people they loved. 

He threw on his sweats and running shoes, nothing else to do this early but burn the hours away on a run through the city. It wasn’t the most distracting thing that he could do, considering the city was full of reminders of its losses - dust, abandoned cars, countless closed businesses, too many missing person posters to fathom - but it kept him from sitting at home and succumbing to the breakdown he was just barely keeping at bay. 

Life was all about survival these days, though he wasn’t sure he was doing a particularly good job of that, either. 

As he ran his thoughts drifted to his team, or at least those who were left of it. Tony and Pepper’s baby had been born a few months ago, and Steve had sent them a gift and a card that only Pepper had acknowledged and sent thanks for. It hadn’t surprised him - Tony wasn’t interested in even a surface level friendship, and Steve supposed he couldn’t blame him. 

Clint had seemingly fallen off the face of the earth, alive but grieving the loss of his entire family and doing it completely alone somewhere even Nat couldn’t find him. Thor was holed up in New Asgard, not taking visitors or calls regardless of how many times Steve tried to reach out. Bruce was also MIA, presumably throwing himself into his work to cope just like the only teammate that Steve had any kind of real relationship with - Nat. 

He didn’t know what he’d do without her. They’d clung to each other in the aftermath of the Snap, crying on each other’s shoulders more times than either could count and finding what little comfort they could in each other. He’d never seen her guard down so low before, her pain so raw and unhidden and bare for him to see, and it made him hurt all the more. To see Natasha, one of the strongest people he’d ever known, brought so low and so vulnerable by anything... _God_ it was bad. It was all so, _so_ bad . 

But he and Natasha were committed to doing what they could to help, because they quite honestly had no idea what else to do with themselves. Natasha was starting a foundation for children orphaned by the Snap, Steve helping where he could with it and reaching out to potential donors to help get it off the ground, and in their spare time they volunteered to clean up the messes left behind all over the country. 

There was plenty to do to keep himself busy, but what Steve lacked was any kind of real distraction. His entire existence revolved around the Snap and what had been lost, trying to restore some kind of order to the world and be useful, and there was no respite from the pain. 

But then again, as one of Earth’s failed defenders, he didn’t think he deserved a respite anyway. Nobody else got one either, so why should he? 

He didn’t feel any better by the time he returned to his Brooklyn apartment, having barely broken a sweat despite the truly obscene number of miles he’d run. The sun was up now and the city was awake, and Steve had about an hour to shower and get ready for breakfast across town with Nat. They had breakfast together at least twice a week, partially because it forced them to get out of bed and get out into the world when at times it was the last thing they wanted to do. Accountability was crucial, they’d each discovered at their worst mental states post-Snap. 

Wearing a simple pair of dark blue jeans and a white t shirt with a black leather jacket thrown on over it, Steve locked up his apartment and hopped on his bike to make his way to the coffee shop he was meeting Nat at. Just before he took off he got a text from her informing him of a bit of a delay, but he decided to head there anyway and just wait for her. The last thing he wanted to do was go back inside his apartment and get stuck even deeper in his own head. 

The ride there was quick, traffic in the city unnaturally and jarringly  light, but Steve tried to pay it no mind. Once he arrived he slid a hand through his windswept hair - on the longer side similar to when he’d been living as a fugitive, though he kept up with shaving these days mostly out of routine - and checked his phone for new texts as he headed for the door. He didn’t notice the young man walking out of the cafe, hot coffee in one hand and his own eyes glued to the phone in the other, only noticing the solid wall of muscle walking straight at him once they’d collided and the coffee had spilled all over Steve’s shirt. 

“Fuckin’ hell on a -  fuck me ,” Steve exclaimed, looking down at his now-ruined shirt and hissing at the burn on his chest. It wouldn’t hurt for long but  damn , serum or no serum, getting splashed with freshly brewed coffee hurt like hell. 

“_Oh my God_ I’m so sorry, holy shit I’m - aw fuck, are you okay?”

Steve looked up from his soaked shirt to the man rambling before him, and all it took was a brief moment of eye contact for both of them to freeze as surprised recognition dawned across their features. 

Steve knew that face. He knew that voice. He blinked a few times and looked the man over, wondering if maybe his mind was playing tricks on him, but the truth was... he’d know those gray-blue eyes anywhere. 

“.... Bucky?” Steve blurted, dumbfounded. Bucky looked older now, distinctly more  tired , and a lush beard covered his well-defined jawline now but it was definitely him .  Steve had never expected to cross paths with the beautiful boy he’d spent that long, crazy night in Nevada with but yet here he was, staring back at Steve every bit as bewildered as he was.

“I... you...  _Steve_ ?” Bucky half-laughed, a small smile gracing his features before his eyes widened with horror. “Oh fuck, Steve, are you okay? I ordered that coffee extra hot and -“

Steve waved a dismissive hand, as if his skin wasn’t pretty much on fire. “It’s fine, really. No big deal. How have you been?” The minute the question left his mouth, Steve cringed a little. 

Bucky noticed and thankfully gave a small, forgiving but sad smile. “Same as everyone else, I guess.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, stupid question,” Steve shook his head. “I’m just - I wasn’t expecting to run into you.”

“That makes two of us,” Bucky chuckled. “Small world, I guess.” Then _he_ visibly cringed ,  because yeah, the world was half as small as it was before.  _Ugh_ . 

Steve was seconds away from drowning in the mutual awkwardness of the whole thing, so he swallowed hard and tried to salvage it before it was too late. “Can I buy you a coffee? Since your first one didn’t work out.”

“Yeah, because I spilled it on you like a dumbass,” Bucky pointed out with a huff of a laugh. “If anything I owe _you_ a coffee. And a new shirt.”

Steve shrugged him off. “It was my fault, too. I wasn’t paying attention either, so... I’ll buy you a new one and we’ll call it even?”

Bucky snorted. “That’s not even close to even but I get the feeling you’re not really gonna let it go, are you?”

Steve smiled cheerfully. “Not a chance.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and smiled back - so pretty, Steve thought, just as pretty as he remembered - and sighed, “All right, fine.”

Inordinately pleased by this and no longer feeling any real discomfort from the coffee besides the wetness of his shirt, Steve ushered Bucky into the coffee shop and grabbed a handful of napkins to dry himself off as they got in line. It was only a few minutes before they each had new coffees in hand, the barista eyeing Steve’s stained shirt a bit quizzically but thankfully not saying anything, and Bucky didn’t protest when Steve suggested they sit at a table and chat for a bit. 

He wasn’t really sure what he was doing, just winging it and hoping that he wasn’t being the disaster that he felt like he was, but soon he was distracted from those thoughts by Bucky taking his first sip of the coffee and pointedly looking Steve over. 

“So,” Bucky began knowingly, with a little glint in his eye, “where’s your shield?”

Letting out a breath, Steve cocked his head and replied, “Did you know the whole time?”

Bucky shook his head. “Hell no. Didn’t really pay much attention to the news back then and I probably wouldn’t have recognized you anyway without the dorky helmet.” He paused. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Steve grinned. “It was nice, you know. The anonymity.”

Bucky nodded, taking another sip. “Sure did explain a lot, though, when I figured it out.”

Steve felt his cheeks flush a little bit under Bucky’s knowing gaze, and he took a drink of his own coffee mostly just for something to do while he tried to figure out a response. 

“And before you ask, I didn’t tell anyone,” Bucky quickly added. “Wanted to, but I didn’t.”

“Thank you,” Steve replied, sincere. “I appreciate that.”

“Not like anyone would have believed me anyway,” Bucky shrugged. “Sometimes _I_ hardly believe it.”

Steve smiled and looked down at his coffee. “It definitely happened,” he murmured. “But I know what you mean. Certainly wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“Yeah. Neither is this,” Bucky replied, gesturing to the two of them and the coffee shop. “Didn’t know you were living back in your hometown.”

Steve drew a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah. After... everything, sort of just... ended up back here. The Accords were dissolved and I wasn’t a fugitive anymore, so...”

“Home is home, right?” Bucky nodded back. “Unless my 8th grade history teacher was wrong and you actually grew up in Jersey or something.”

Steve made a face at that. “God, no. Born and raised in Brooklyn,” he chuckled. “Like you, right?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. Well, actually, I was born in Indiana but my parents moved here when I was a baby,” he explained. “But I don’t remember it, so it feels like it’s always been Brooklyn.”

Steve almost asked about Bucky’s parents before biting his tongue, afraid of the answer he might get. 

“By the way,” Bucky added dryly, “sad to see the beard gone.”

Steve brought a hand to his smooth jaw reflexively, flushing again. “Yeah, it’s... I don’t know. The routine of it, I guess. Makes me feel more... me?”

Bucky nodded. “Looked damn good on you, though.”

Steve smiled, that flush growing hotter. “So does yours.”

Bucky scratched his fingers through his beard at the mention of it. “I dunno. It’s all right but I mostly leave it ‘cause I’m lazy.”

Steve found that hard to believe. Bucky looked as well-put together as he had in Nevada, in a gray sweater and wonderfully fitted black jeans with black leather boots over them. His hair was still long, maybe longer than it had been before, currently tied up in a low bun with a few free pieces framing his face, and the last thing Steve thought when he looked at Bucky was laziness. 

“It suits you,” Steve told him. “Trust me.”

Bucky slowly grinned in a way that made Steve feel a little hot under his collar. “All right. I trust you.”

Steve grinned back, nowhere near done with the conversation yet and thus a little devastated when Bucky’s phone chimed and he checked it only to furrow his brows and say, “Fuck, I gotta get going. I’ve got - it’s my friend and I’m gonna be late for a... thing.”

Steve nodded quickly, masking his disappointment and shoving it as far down as he could. “Okay, yeah no problem. It was good seeing you again.” 

“You too,” Bucky grinned before draining the last of his coffee. He stood up and glanced at Steve’s chest, a twinge of regret in his eyes as he looked at the awful coffee stain on his shirt. “Are you sure I can’t buy you a new shirt or something?”

Steve waved him off, still seated and smiling up at him. “It’s fine, I promise. I’ve had a lot worse.”

Bucky chewed on his lower lip - something Steve watched for entirely too long - and then dug out his wallet. He pulled a white business card from it and then leaned down to slip it into Steve’s hand, moving in close enough to murmur directly into his ear, “Give me a call and I’ll find a better way to make it up to you.”

Then he pulled away, leaving Steve clutching the card between his fingers and staring up at Bucky with slightly wide, heated eyes. Bucky simply winked and tossed a smirk his way before tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ear and sauntering away. Steve had no shame in watching his ass the entire time, knowing it was exactly what Bucky wanted. 

Once he was gone, Steve turned the card over in his hand and found just a name -  _Bucky Barnes -_ and a number. It was a nice and professional business card, the lack of other details discreet and telling, and Steve’s heart was slamming in his chest at the very thought of taking Bucky up on his offer. There was no mistaking his intent, and Steve couldn’t even try to deny his instant desire to text that number and set something up at Bucky’s earliest convenience. 

“So,” Natasha said lightly, plopping down out of nowhere into Bucky’s seat and nearly making Steve hit the ceiling in his surprise, “who was that?”

“N-nobody,” Steve stuttered, shoving the business card into his jacket pocket and trying to be nonchalant despite his suddenly beet-red face and shaking hands. “Nobody. It was nothing - no one. Nobody you know. Nobody.”

She raised an eyebrow, and Steve grimaced. 

Yeah... he was fucked. 

—

He told himself that he wouldn’t call. He promised himself, in fact, that he would just throw the card away and forget about it and Bucky, that nothing good could come of picking up his phone and dialing those digits. 

And yet, once the day had ended and Steve was alone again in his apartment, sitting on his couch with a half-drained beer next to him, that damn business card was between his fingers and wreaking havoc on his mind. He’d been able to think of little else all day, doing his best to avoid Natasha’s rather intense line of questioning while mentally fixating on Bucky’s sudden reappearance and how damn good he’d looked in those fuckin’ jeans of his. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Steve was aware that this was the first thing besides death and depression that he’d fixated on since... before. And if his subconscious and battered heart were both clinging to this distraction like their very lives depended on it, he couldn’t really blame himself, could he? 

Except he could and he would. And he was definitely not going to call Bucky, he decided as he groaned and tossed the card on his coffee table. 

He took a deep breath and downed a swig of his beer, running a hand through his hair and only managing a half-glance at the inane sitcom currently on his tv before his eyes drifted right back to that damn business card. 

.... Maybe he _would_ call . 

He picked his phone up from where it laid on the couch next to his thigh, unlocking it only to quickly re-lock it and set it back down, shaking his head and mentally berating himself. 

_ Get a grip, Rogers. You know better .  _

He was hurting, he reasoned. Bucky was hurting too, undoubtedly. The whole world was broken, and there was work to be done. Too much to distract himself with something like this, something that would probably only make things worse in the end. 

There were a thousand reasons to toss the card and forget the number, all of them perfectly rational and logical. And yet every single one of those reasons faded away in a moment of weakness that came only seconds later, when Steve picked up his phone and sent Bucky a text before he could stop himself. 

**Steve: So how does this work? **

**Steve: It’s Steve, btw**

He then stared holes into his phone as he reread the two lines until the words ceased to look like words anymore, cringing and overthinking and ending up on the verge of a panic attack before he forced himself to set the phone down and breathe. He buried his face in his hands, already regretting his actions and wishing desperately that he could take them back. 

Then his phone dinged. He jolted and grabbed the phone so clumsily it fell out of his hands and on to the floor, but eventually he finally managed to hold it and open Bucky’s reply. 

** Bucky: I knew you’d be interested ;) it works however you want it to work **

Before Steve could ask for clarification, Bucky was already sending it. 

**Bucky: We agree on a time and place - can be a hotel or your place, whatever you prefer. And since I owe you, first night’s on the house. **

Steve didn’t miss the implications behind this potential meet-up being only the first. It made his already racing heart beat all the faster as he quickly typed his reply, having to delete and retype a few times due to errors. 

** Steve: That shirt only cost me a few bucks. Think you’re being a bit generous there .  **

Bucky answered quickly enough to make Steve smile at the speed of it. 

**Bucky: Yeah well, what can I say. I’m a generous guy.**

Steve grinned to himself. Then he took a breath and checked his calendar. 

**Steve: You free Wednesday night?**

As he waited for the answer, he still couldn’t believe that he was doing this. He bounced his knee nervously, biting at his lips and feeling his thoughts threaten to spiral again just before Bucky saved him with his response. 

**Bucky: Wednesday’s good. Where? **

Steve paused and considered the options. It didn’t take him long to decide to go with the place he’d be most comfortable at. 

** Steve: My place, if that’s okay .  **

**Bucky: That’s perfect. 8 pm?**

**Steve: Sounds like a plan. **

He breathed in raggedly and leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes and wondering when his heart would stop trying to fly out of his chest. Wednesday was only two days away. He might just expire from the sheer anxiety of it all by then, he suspected. 

**Bucky: Can’t wait ;)**

Steve nearly groaned aloud as he read those two little words, wondering how the hell this man affected him so effortlessly. 

** Steve: Me too .  **

Steve suspected that would be the end of the conversation, but to his surprise it very much wasn’t. 

**Bucky: Wanna see how much I’m looking forward to it?**

Steve gulped and replied with a simple  _yes_ . He waited on the edge of seat for the next few moments until his phone chimed with an incoming photo. He opened it and froze, lips parted and breath caught in his throat. 

It was a picture of Bucky from his own perspective, lying in bed shirtless in just a thin pair of gray sweats. The hard line of his cock under the fabric was unmistakable, and the idea that it was for Steve... that he really was hard for him... he knew it might just be a very effective ploy but  _ fucking hell .  _

**Steve: Fuck, Bucky**

**Steve: That for me?**

He’d never texted anyone like this before but he couldn’t help it. His blood was rushing south and it had been so long since he’d felt like this, he couldn’t bear to try to fight it. 

** Bucky: All for you, Daddy .  **

Steve groaned and closed his eyes. It had been damn near three years and yet Bucky remembered  _that_ . H e  dropped his free hand to his lap and rubbed himself through his jeans, hard as hell and unable to stop himself. 

He was debating whether he was really gonna allow himself to take this all the way when Bucky followed up with another picture. This time the sweats were pushed down his thighs and his free hand was wrapped around his dick mid-stroke, just enough pre-come to make the tip visibly glisten. Steve’s mouth watered. 

**Steve: oh my God **

**Steve: you look so damn good**

He barely realized that he’d hastily undone his jeans and taken himself in hand until the first few strokes had him groaning out loud. He didn’t care anymore, staring shamelessly at the picture that Bucky had sent and imagining getting his own hand around that cock, licking up every drop and swirling his tongue around it like it was a lollipop. He imagined Bucky moaning and writhing beneath him, his hand in Steve’s hair and hips rocking up towards his face, looking every bit as gorgeous in the throes of passion as Steve remembered...

It was no time until he was stroking fast and hard, his release coming on incredibly fast given how long it had been since Steve had allowed himself this luxury. He set down the phone on his thigh and used his free hand to push up his shirt, running his fingers over his nipples and pinching one as he bit back a moan and fucked his fist harder. He was hovering over that precarious edge when his phone chimed and he looked down to see a new picture from Bucky. 

This time it was of his entire bare torso, covered in his own come from abdomen to collarbone, spent cock laying against his thigh. All that was visible of his face was his mouth and chin, plush lower lip caught between his teeth, and it was just too damn much - Steve came with a whimper and made a mess of his own, seeing stars as the pleasure overtook him. 

It was so good it was shocking, leaving Steve trembling as he slowly caught his breath and blinked his way back to reality. He moved his hand from his chest to his chin, wiping off what had landed there before an idea struck him. Ordinarily he wouldn’t have entertained such a thought but he was so high still and it seemed like a fantastic idea, so he grabbed his phone and snapped his own faceless selfie before he could think better of it. He sent it off and then spent a few more minutes basking in the glow of his orgasm, wondering why the hell he didn’t do this more often. His phone dinged before he allowed himself to remember the somber answer to that question. 

**Bucky: holy fuck **

**Bucky: Steve **

**Bucky: fuck I wanna lick all of that up**

Steve grinned to himself. A part of him was still unsure how genuine Bucky was, but it sure _seemed_ that he was. 

**Steve: is it Wednesday yet?**

**Bucky: I wish ;)**

Steve let out a long breath and set his phone aside for the time being, sitting up and stripping off his shirt to wipe himself clean with it. Afterwards he sat there and ran his fingers through his hair, wondering just what the hell he had gotten himself into. 

Whatever it was, he couldn’t _wait_ to delve in as deeply as Bucky would allow him to. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky comes over to Steve’s place Wednesday night as promised, but things don’t exactly go according to plan. Then again, they never really do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I continue to be blown away by the response to this fic!! Thank you guys so much for every kudos, comment & view!! You’re all the best!! This chapter took me awhile to finish because a literal hurricane got in the way but I FINALLY finished today :D thank you to MorningGlory2 for your help and feedback as always, I love you!! And I love all of you guys too!!

The two days before Wednesday’s arrival both crawled by and passed in the blink of an eye for Steve, his mounting anxiety andoverthinking brain wreaking havoc as the 48 hours ticked by. The closer his and Bucky’s _appointment_ got , the more he tried to convince himself to cancel. 

He almost did the night before. He laid in bed unable to fall asleep, tossing and turning before finally deciding _fuck it_ and grabbing his phone, opening his and Bucky’s text thread and intending to send off a canceling text before he had a chance to change his mind. But before he could type a single letter, his eyes caught the last picture that Bucky had sent him - that filthy one of him stretched out in the bed, naked and covered in his own come - and his resolve crumbled into a mess of desire. 

Instead of canceling, he ended up jerking off to the pictures twice and then falling asleep before the inevitable shame could catch up with him. 

The next day, he cleaned every last inch of his already fairly tidy apartment and spent an inordinate of time wondering what exactly the protocol was here. It wasn’t a date, he knew that, but what if Bucky was hungry when he showed up? Should he have dinner ready just in case? Or would that be weird and set the wrong tone for the whole evening? Also what should Steve wear? Did it matter?  _What the hell was he doing?_

In the end, Steve decided to play it safe. He ordered take out for dinner with just enough extra to feed Bucky just in case, figuring he’d have the rest for lunch tomorrow if it proved unnecessary. Then, an hour before Bucky’s scheduled arrival, he got in the shower and spent longer in it than he had in ages - washing, trimming, getting himself in the most presentable condition that he knew how to. Then afterwards he spent at least 20 minutes messing with his hair, wanting it to look decent but not too put-together, wanting to look casual and like he hadn’t spent the last two days obsessing about it. Which, of course, he had. 

Four failed outfits later, Steve was overdressed in a navy button down and gray slacks, knowing he was overdoing it but finding himself at a loss to do anything else. The first night with Bucky had been so much easier in comparison because it had happened so quickly, leaving no room for overthinking or obsessing like this one had. Sometimes, Steve thought as he checked his hair for the umpteenth time, he really hated his brain. 

Then, at long last, a knock at his door ended his wait. Heart thudding at the sound, Steve swallowed hard and made a beeline from his bathroom to the front door, casting a quick glance over the kitchen and living room to double check that everything was in order. It was, of course. 

Then he reached the door and opened it up, barely suppressing a groan at the sight of Bucky on the other side. 

“Hey,” Bucky grinned, the picture of casual ease and effortless sex appeal with his long, free flowing locks and mischievous gray-blue eyes. He was in tight dark blue jeans and a simple black t-shirt, a gray hoodie unzipped over it and somehow he made it outfit nothing short of mouth watering. It defied all logic, Steve thought as Bucky glanced over Steve’s own clothes, a glint of amusement passing through his eyes though he thankfully said nothing. 

“Hey,” Steve finally echoed when he found his voice again. He opened the door fully and stepped aside to let Bucky in, cheeks already enveloped in a blush and heart hammering away in his chest like it was trying to escape. “Come on in.”

Steve shut the door and locked it after Bucky stepped inside, turning to him and finding himself at a loss for words already before his default politeness kicked in. “Can I take your jacket?”

“Sure,” Bucky smiled faintly, unzipping the hoodie and shrugging out of it. He handed it over and glanced around as Steve hung it up on a hook next to the door. “Nice place you got here.”

“Thanks,” Steve nodded, glancing around his fairly minimalist and unexciting apartment, gesturing vaguely. “It’s... y’know. It works.” When Bucky simply grew even more amused looking, Steve jerked his thumb towards the kitchen. “You hungry? I have food if you are. Or a drink? D’you want a drink? Beer, soda... coffee?” He cringed a little, snapping his mouth shut before he could ramble anymore. 

Bucky smiled, ducking his head. “Beer’s fine.”

“Great,” Steve replied in a slightly too-high pitch, dashing off towards the kitchen. Bucky followed behind him, slipping his hands into his pockets and trying his best to maintain a straight face as he watched Steve open the refrigerator door and clank around in it. 

Producing two beer bottles with one hand, Steve turned around only to stop short and just barely contain a yelp when he found Bucky leaning against the small island in the kitchen’s center. For some reason he hadn’t expected him to follow, but he quickly recovered and went about opening one of the bottles and handing it to Bucky with a noticeably shaky hand. 

Bucky took the bottle, fingers brushing Steve’s as he murmured his thanks. They each took a drink, Bucky swallowing and then asking, “Do you want me to go?”

Steve choked, sputtering inelegantly before staring at Bucky with wide eyes. “What? No! No,” he shook his head. “Why -“

Bucky shrugged. “You’re wound so tight I think you might actually explode if I come any closer to you. Don’t wanna stay if you’ve changed your mind.”

Steve groaned quietly and set down his beer, dragging a hand over his face and through his hair. “I’m sorry. It’s not that, I swear. It’s just - I’m... my head,” he waved distractedly towards it. “I tend to overthink. Get myself all worked up and nervous.”

Bucky nodded, seemingly understanding. “Ah. You’re sure that’s all it is? Because you have every right to change your mind at any point. No hard feelings.”

Steve shook his head, resolute. “No. No, I want this.” A blush rose on his cheeks at the admission, but it was worth it to see Bucky relax a bit and smile again. 

“Okay. I believe you. But...” he ran his eyes over Steve’s broad, too-rigid shoulders. “We gotta work on gettin’ you to relax a little bit first.”

Steve took a deep breath, wishing for roughly the eleventy billionth time that he could just down some shots and relax that way, like normal people did. “Yeah... easier said than done.”

Bucky took another drink, then cocked his head as he set the bottle down. “Maybe not. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve. Where’s your bedroom?” When Steve stared at him, lips parted, Bucky chuckled and added, “Don’t worry. It’s not what you think.”

Taking a deep breath and nodding, Steve turned and made for the hallway. “This way.”

It was a short walk there, taking only a few seconds before Steve and Bucky were inside the bedroom. Steve left the door open and flipped on a lamp by the bed, casting a pleasantly warm glow over the room. He glanced up to find Bucky kicking off his shoes, and when their eyes met Bucky gestures to the bed. “Take off your shirt and lay down. On your front.”

Steve’s blush was instant, but he hesitated only briefly before doing as Bucky instructed. Having an idea now of where this was going, he unbuttoned his shirt quickly with still-shaky hands and watched as Bucky stepped into the adjoining bathroom and flipped on the light. Steve was shirtless and lowering himself into bed when Bucky came back, a bottle of lotion in hand. 

Steve laid down on his stomach, hugging his firmest pillow and resting his cheek on it. Bucky quickly tossed his long hair up into a messy bun to keep it out of his face, and then he was crawling up into the bed and, to Steve’s instant approval, straddling his narrow waist as he got into position. 

“All right, Steve,” Bucky murmured as he rubbed a healthy glob of lotion between his hands, “let’s get you loosened up, okay?”

Steve opened his mouth to agree but stayed silent as those hands found his back, rubbing softly from the middle up to his shoulders. His eyes fluttered shut at just that, body so unaccustomed to this kind of touch that he had to fight the irrational knee jerk urge to push Bucky away for the first few seconds. 

_God_, he was even more touch starved than he’d realized. 

“Fuckin’ hell, Steve,” Bucky marveled as his fingers pressed into the tense, knotted muscles in his back and shoulders. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt someone as tense as you.”

Steve let out a humorless laugh. “That’s me... overachiever.”

Bucky chuckled, just touching and exploring, getting Steve used to the contact. “Well, it makes sense. With a job like yours, anyone would be tense.”

Steve tried to figure out a response to that. The truth was he didn’t really have much of a job anymore, certainly not in the way he once did. He helped where he could and volunteered his abilities where they were needed but there wasn’t much need for Avenging lately. Things were so bad that even the bad guys were just trying to get by, not giving enough trouble to warrant a response from the compound most weeks. 

Then Bucky started digging into the knots in Steve’s back, and he groaned and closed his eyes at the pleasure-pain of it. He had to grit his teeth at first but it wasn’t long before relief washed through him, draining the tension that he hadn’t even realized he’d been carrying for months. 

“There you go,” Bucky purred, so damn good with his hands it wasn’t even funny. Steve didn’t mind the way he felt on top of him either. “Feels better, doesn’t it?”

Steve moaned his agreement into the pillow, all but sinking into the bed. His mind was going deliciously blank under the onslaught of sensations, body now drinking in the touch it had nearly tried to resist at first. 

By the time that Bucky was done, simply smoothing his palms over the skin that he’d worked so well, Steve was nearly half asleep. But then Bucky was tapping his shoulder, rousing him with a gentle, “Turn over, Steve.”

Steve opened his eyes and obeyed, turning on to his back beneath the other man. Bucky smirked, trailing his eyes from the dazed look on Steve’s face to his chest and abs, licking his lips without even realizing it. It stirred desire low in Steve’s gut that only intensified when Bucky placed his palms on either side of Steve’s belly button and began slowly working his way up. 

“My _God_,” Bucky marveled as his hands slipped over Steve’s pecs, massaging them and rubbing them as he would a woman’s breasts. “I almost forgot how amazing your tits are.”

Steve blushed all the way down to his navel, something that didn’t escape Bucky’s notice. Bucky simply grinned and flicked his thumbs over Steve’s nipples, making Steve gasp and instinctively roll his hips upwards. Bucky hummed and kept playing, pushing the mounds of hard muscle together and biting his lip when it created honest to God cleavage. 

“Aw, fuck,” Bucky groaned, as if he found the sight so titillating it was painful. Steve was the color of a fire engine, whimpering a little and grabbing at the sheets because he wasn’t sure what else to do, but then Bucky leaned down and flicked his tongue over a nipple and Steve couldn’t stop the moan that left his lips. Bucky closed his lips and started sucking, a hungry sort of sound escaping his throat and sending an extra jolt of desire straight to Steve’s cock. 

“Buck... _Bucky_,” Steve breathed, fingers slipping into Bucky’s hair. He watched as Bucky then switched to the other nipple, apparently intent on utterly tormenting him before either one of them was even naked, and Steve absolutely _loved_ it . But when he couldn’t take anymore he let out a quiet growl and gently wrenched Bucky back by his hair, then sat up and pulled Bucky in for a desperate kiss that Bucky seemed to melt into. 

Bucky’s lips were as deliciously soft as Steve remembered, but the roughness of his beard on Steve’s smooth chin was new. He decided quickly that he liked it, reaching behind Bucky’s head and tugging down his hair, wanting to feel the long wavy strands between his fingers. Bucky seemed to like that, parting his lips for Steve’s tongue to slip inside of his mouth and play, and Steve couldn’t help but groan the first time their tongues touched. 

Then he decided that he needed Bucky naked, now. He tugged impatiently at Bucky’s shirt and growled, “ Off .” Bucky happily and quickly complied, his shirt hitting the floor just before Steve seized his hips and flipped him on his back. 

Bucky’s head hit the pillow with an  oomph and he grinned up at Steve lazily, voice  dripping with sex as he purred, “_There_ you are, Daddy.”

Hands planted next to Bucky’s head, Steve leaned down and nipped at Bucky’s lower lip before murmuring in a voice that he barely recognized as his own, “Careful calling me that.”

Bucky hissed as Steve ground their hips together, erections straining through way too many layers of fabric. “Why?”

Steve’s cheeks flushed as he confessed, “I like it a little too much.”

Bucky’s mischievous smile lit up his entire pretty face as he ran his hands over Steve’s ample chest, unable to keep them off. “Don’t sound like much of a problem to me.”

Steve answered with a hard, passionate kiss rather than words, slipping his right hand between them to work Bucky’s jeans opened. They kissed the hell out of each other until Steve pulled away to tug Bucky’s jeans and boxer briefs down in one pull, not stopping until they were on the floor and Bucky was completely bare before him. And just like Bucky had done a few years ago in that ratty Nevada desert motel, he laid back against the pillows with his arms above his head, letting his legs fall wide open in a wordless invitation that left Steve’s mouth watering. 

Steve leaned forward, ready to pounce, only to be stopped by an unexpected foot to his chest. 

“You’re overdressed,” Bucky explained, grinning at Steve’s bewildered face. Bucky dropped his leg back down and reached down to stroke himself as Steve scrambled off the bed and ditched his pants and underwear. Bucky watched shamelessly and asked casually, “Can I ask you a question?”

Steve stepped out of his clothes, straightening up and meeting Bucky’s hungry gaze. “Sure.”

Bucky stared at Steve’s impressive, painfully hard cock for a long moment before blinking and remembering his question, asking it as Steve crawled back on the bed. “You still got that crazy stamina?”

“Haven’t tested it in awhile,” Steve grinned, covering Bucky’s body with his own and savoring the slide of skin against slick skin. “But yeah, pretty sure.”

“Let’s test it then,” Bucky proposed, reaching down and grabbing two handfuls of Steve’s ass, squeezing just the right side of hard. “Come on up here and fuck my face.”

Steve groaned, kissing him hard and desperate. “You’re gonna kill me, kid.”

Bucky chuckled against his lips and gave him another squeeze. “C’mon, give it to me. Wanna choke on it.”

Steve cursed and couldn’t help but start climbing up Bucky’s body, not stopping until he was in position. It was awkward at first but Bucky’s hands rose to Steve’s hips and urged him forward, one of Steve’s hands gripping the bed frame for support as his other slowly fed Bucky the dick he claimed to be so hungry for. 

It was hard for Steve to doubt Bucky’s sincerity when he sucked at the tip and moaned like he was being fed some decadent dessert. Shocks of pleasure shot up and down Steve’s spine as he slowly pressed into Bucky’s mouth, the angle a challenging one for Bucky though he made it seem like the easiest thing in the world. He urged Steve to move with his hands and mouth, and soon Steve’s eyes were closed and he was rocking with a steady, intoxicating rhythm. 

_God_ it had been so long. There hadn’t been anyone since Bucky - and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever admit that to him - and there hadn’t been anyone for quite some time before him. To have this now, the wet, hot slide of a skilled mouth and the gorgeous body underneath him... it was amazing and luxurious and he didn’t deserve it but he wasn’t strong enough to deny himself. 

Gripping the bedframe with both hands, Steve dropped his head and let himself barrel towards his release, not needing to fight it because he knew it would only be the first of many. He simply closed his eyes and rolled his hips, fucking the younger man’s face and gasping out his name when he felt himself reach the point of no return. 

He came down Bucky’s throat with a rough, stuttering gasp, Bucky swallowing every drop and running soothing hands up and down Steve’s thighs as he slumped forward and caught his breath. Steve was still hard when he pulled away, panting and sliding back down Bucky’s body but freezing when he saw Bucky grin and lick his wet lips. 

“We - I didn’t - condom,” Steve blurted, horror replacing the pleasant buzz that his orgasm had left behind. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, I -“

“It’s okay,” Bucky assured him, sitting up and touching his shoulder. “Really. I mean, you’re  _Captain America_. ”

That made Steve’s stomach twist with the very opposite of arousal. He looked away and muttered, “Just because I’m famous doesn’t give me the right to break your rules, Bucky.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Bucky shook his head, reaching out to nudge Steve’s jaw. “Hey, look at me. What I meant was, you’re Captain America. You’re immune to everything, right? So STI’s aren’t a concern for either of us. And since I don’t have a uterus and can’t get pregnant...”

Steve sighed with relief, understanding his meaning now. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky added sincerely. “I meant to talk to you about it first but I got so into it I just... I forgot. It’s no excuse, though. I know better.”

Steve shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I do. It was _my_ come you swallowed.”

Bucky gave him a lopsided grin. “Yeah. Tasted pretty damn good, too.”

Steve flushed and ducked his head, feeling a bit off-kilter and less relaxed after his moment of panic. Bucky could tell, reaching out and cupping his cheek as he shifted forward and murmured, “Hey, it’s okay.”

Bucky climbed into Steve’s lap, wrappingboth arms around his shoulders and laying a sweet kiss on his lips. Steve’s hands found his hips on instinct, looking up into Bucky’s eyes after he drew away. “You know,” Steve exhaled, “I almost cancelled about a hundred different times over the last few days.”

Bucky’s easy-going expression flickered for a fraction of a second, but he recovered so fast Steve had to wonder if he’d imagined it. “Nerves?”

Steve nodded. “Other things, too.”

“Still afraid you’re taking advantage of me?” Bucky asked with a faint smirk. 

Steve shook his head. “No. S’just...” he trailed off, wishing he’d just shut up because this was not where he wanted the night to go, and yet the words just spilled uselessly out of his mouth as he watched his fingers trace over Bucky’s skin. “It’s hard. To feel like I deserve to... do this. Feel good.”

“Steve,” Bucky said softly, smoothing Steve’s hair back at his temple. “You’re a good man. Everyone knows that. Even punks like me know it. If anyone deserves to feel good, it’s you.”

Steve smiled wistfully, wishing he could believe that. “None of that really matters when half the planet had to pay for my mistakes.”

Steve wasn’t sure that he’d ever instantly regretted saying anything quite as quickly as he did in that moment. Bucky’s entire demeanor changed in a flash, his small smile disappearing and eyes falling utterly blank as he froze. Then he slowly removed his arms from around Steve’s neck and looked away, muttering, “I can’t do this if you’re gonna talk about... that.”

Steve’s blood ran cold, guilt piercing his already-battered heart. “Shit, Bucky, I’m sorry.” But Bucky was already moving away, scooting out of Steve’s lap and looking like he was a million miles away, leading Steve to panic and grip his arm more than a little desperately. “Wait, Bucky, _please_. I won’t bring it up again, I swear. I was stupid, I just -  _ please don’t leave. ” _

Bucky held still, staring at Steve warily. “You promise?”

Bucky’s voice was so small, so  pained , it made Steve ache. It was obvious that the Snap hadn’t spared Bucky, just as Steve had feared. “On my life,” Steve replied solemnly. 

Bucky blinked a few times, inhaling deeply and finally nodding. “Okay.”

Steve deflated with relief but quickly realized how positively ruined the mood was. Neither of them were hard anymore, and it was his fault. He rubbed his fingertips over Bucky’s arm absently and took a deep breath, hoping the night could still be salvaged. 

“You hungry?”

Bucky glanced up at him in surprise. “I... kinda, but you don’t have to -“

“Why don’t we take a minute and eat something,” Steve suggested. “I ordered extra takeout tonight just in case, so it’s no problem.”

Bucky opened his mouth, surely to refuse him, but something about the hopefulness in Steve’s eyes made him snap it shut and swallow. Then he shook his head with a faint smile, as if Steve was simply too much, and asked, “What kinda takeout?”

Steve smiled. Maybe the night wasn’t ruined after all. 

—

Avoiding Thanos and the Snap in conversation was next to impossible, but Steve and Bucky both managed it as they sat at the kitchen table in just their underwear, digging into the heaps of Thai food Steve had ordered. They talked about old tv shows, movies, music, food, fashion, their likes and dislikes, all while pointedly avoiding the elephant in the room. 

It was a delicate task, but it was rewarding all the same. For awhile, Steve felt almost... normal. Just a guy relaxing at home, sharing a meal with a cute guy and flirting with him at every opportunity, arguing over who played the best Batman.(Steve was a Keaton guy, whereas Bucky preferred Bale. They agreed, however, that Ben Affleck wasn’t so much as worth an honorable mention.)

But for all their talk, Bucky kept himself and his own information to himself. He said nothing about his family, friends, his dreams or goals, only sharing opinions on non-threatening issues that didn’t do much to help Steve figure him out. 

And that was fine, he supposed. After all, he was under no illusions as to what this was. Bucky wasn’t here because he was romantically interested in Steve and wanted to open up to him. He was here to fuck him and probably tempt him into paying for his services in the future, and Steve was fine with that. He could keep his distance and maintain those boundaries. 

Probably. 

Maybe. 

After a bit of good natured ribbing as to Steve’s opinions on Star Wars (the prequels weren’t so bad, Steve insisted to Bucky’s utter outrage), Bucky offered to take their finished dishes to the sink and clean up. Steve argued but ultimately let him, mostly once he realized it meant a fantastic view of Bucky’s ass as he stood at the sink. 

He looked so damn good, like everything Steve had never thought a real person in real life could look like. His fingers itched to touch him, lips tingling with the memory of their heated kisses before Steve had stuck his foot in his mouth, but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to do that now. Maybe the mood had been killed for good and Bucky wasn’t interested anymore. 

Only one way to find out. 

Carefully, quietly, Steve got to his feet and crossed the small kitchen, coming up behind Bucky. He didn’t want to touch him without permission, so he stood as closely as he could without making contact and reached around him, bracing his hands on the sink and bracketing Bucky in where he stood. 

“Can I touch you?” he murmured just an inch from Bucky’s ear, his warm breath causing a slight shiver that Steve didn’t miss. 

Bucky grinned and continued washing the plate in his hands. “Hell, Steve, thought that’s what I was here for.”

Nearly groaning with delight, Steve moved one hand to Bucky’s hip and gripped it as he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Bucky shut off the water and set the plate aside, turning his head to look at Steve’s lips first, then in his eyes. “You can do whatever the fuck you wanna do to me, Daddy.”

Steve responded with a hungry, ravenous kiss that he was helpless to rein in. His desire was reignited, burning within him and needing to be stoked to the full blaze that would satisfy them both. His tongue plundered Bucky’s mouth and his hand slipped to Bucky’s stomach, pulling him back fully into Steve’s body so that he could feel the half-hardness already there. Bucky groaned and lifted a hand to Steve’s jaw to hold him closer, rocking back against him and  _God_ Steve just couldn’t hold himself back when it came to this man. 

Steve let his hand slip down, rubbing Bucky through the fabric of his tight little boxer briefs and feeling him harden fully right underneath his hand. He slipped his hand inside and stroked him slow but firm, Bucky’s breath hitching as they breathed into each other’s mouths for a moment. 

“Like that?” Steve murmured, watching Bucky bite his lower lip and nod in reply. 

“Yes sir,” Bucky purred, leaning back into Steve and closing his eyes. Steve kept stroking him for a few more moments, reveling in the feel of him and how hard he was for him. It was easy to forget the reality of their dynamic in that moment, to let himself believe that Bucky wanted him as much as Steve wanted Bucky. 

And oh, how Steve wanted him. 

“Turn around,” he growled, seizing Bucky’s hips and turning him against the counter. Bucky barely had the chance to blink before Steve sunk down to his knees, yanking down Bucky’s underwear and looking up to grin at the slightly bewildered look on Bucky’s pretty face. 

“ Steve ...”

Steve smoothed his hands up Bucky’s shapely, perfect thighs, taking a moment to admire his hard, leaking cock as it stood before his eyes. He hadn’t really gotten to do this the first time around, not properly anyway, and now that he could... 

Steve pressed hot, teasing kisses up Bucky’s thighs and along his hipbones, trailing them inwards until he reached his destination. Then he all but _nuzzled_ near the root of Bucky’s cock, running the bridge of his nose all along the underside of it until he reached the tip and then, looking up into Bucky’s heated eyes, placed a filthy kiss upon it. 

Bucky’s cheeks went up in flames. “ Steve, _God_ -“

Steve grinned, swirling his tongue along the tip like it was a particularly decadent dessert, closing his eyes to savor every taste. Bucky gripped the counter behind him tight, eyes fixed on Steve and Steve alone, mouth open and breaths coming harder and harder the deeper that Steve’s mouth engulfed him. 

Steve didn’t pretend to have the sort of skills that Bucky had when it came to this, but that wasn’t the point. He might not have been able to take Bucky all the way down his throat but he still knew how to suck a cock, and he happened to rather enjoy it. He liked the weight on his tongue, the softness of his skin, the taste of him, but most of all he _loved_ the way that Bucky moaned and trembled under him. He’d peek up and feel a surge of pride at the unguarded pleasure on Bucky’s face, the way his eyes fluttered shut and his knuckles grew white against the countertop, the way he bit his lower lip and tried his best to not thrust into Steve’s mouth and give him more than he could handle.

Steve wasn’t sure he’d ever get enough of this man. He got so blissfully lost in his task that he was genuinely startled when Bucky pushed him away, panting and smiling as he explained, “You gotta stop or I’m gonna come down your throat.”

Steve shot him a devilish look and licked him from root to tip. “Maybe I want that. Bet you taste good.”

Bucky groaned and Steve sucked him back down, but Bucky only let him bob his head a few times before he tugged him back by his hair and laughed breathlessly. “Steve,  _stop_ , fuck.”

Steve chuckled and rose up to his feet, both men smiling at each other like idiots as they drew together for a searing kiss. It was hot and heavy from the start, Steve’s hands running all over Bucky’s body until they landed on his ass and grabbed hard, lifting him up effortlessly with just a tiny fraction of Steve’s strength. 

Bucky’s arms wound around Steve’s neck and he grinned against his mouth as his legs wrapped around Steve’s waist, his body weight now being supported by only one arm while Steve’s other hand slid into his hair. “ Jesus . You could break me in half with your little finger, huh?”

“Maybe,” Steve shrugged, turning and carrying Bucky towards his bedroom. “But then I wouldn’t get to lay you down and fuck you, so I don’t think I will.”

Bucky’s responding grin made Steve’s heart act funny. “Gonna fuck me, Daddy?”

The way that Bucky dropped his voice down so low, so velvety and filthy and perfect should have been criminal, Steve thought. But rather than say so, he tossed Bucky down on the bed and replied, “Only if you’re good for me.”

Steve had no idea how these words were coming out of his mouth and why they felt so right or when he’d become the kind of man who even did these kinds of things, but hell if he was about to question it then. No, he couldn’t think of a damn thing else in the world besides Bucky as he smirked sinfully and opened his legs wide, replying lowly, “Oh, I’ll be good for you, Daddy, I promise. I’ve been so good, I opened myself up earlier so I’d be nice and ready for you tonight.”

If anything could have knocked Steve off of his feet, it was that. The mere idea of Bucky back at home in his room, fingers slick and hot as they moved in and out of himself, stretching and readying himself to take Steve later...  _oh God_ . 

“Yeah?” Steve finally replied, easing up the bed and crawling after Bucky, a predator to his all too willing prey. “Did you enjoy that? Make yourself come?”

“All over my sheets,” Bucky confirmed, and Steve replied with a kiss so ferocious it nearly  hurt in all the best ways. They kissed and clawed at each other, bodies sliding together and creating a delicious friction that was exquisite but not enough, not for either of them. “C’mon,” Bucky panted impatiently into Steve’s mouth, “give it to me.”

Steve broke away to clumsily grab a bottle of lube from his nightstand, asking when he returned, “You sure you’re ready? Don’t wanna hurt you.”

Bucky nodded. “I’m good, I promise. Trust me.”

Steve nodded, doing exactly that. But then as he popped the cap and sat back to pour it on himself, he paused one more time to ask, “Are you sure about the no condom thing?”

Bucky managed to tear his eyes away from Steve’s hand on his own cock to meet his gaze and nod. “Yeah. You?”

“Long as you are.”

“Good, now fuck me, Steve,” Bucky demanded, and Steve had to suppress a moan as he lined himself up and slowly slid inside. 

“_Oh God_,” Steve groaned, eyes closed and entire upper body flushed as that tight, wet heat consumed him. It was better than a hand, better than Bucky’s mouth, better than anything, and by the time that Steve was fully seated, he felt like his world had spun off it’s axis just a little bit. He dropped his face to Bucky’s neck, breathing him in as Bucky adjusted to him, his hands running up and down Steve’s back and legs wrapped around his waist. Steve knew Bucky was ready when he started squirming beneath him, wordlessly urging him to move, and they both let out helplessly guttural noises at Steve’s first deep thrust. 

Steve didn’t know how he’d been living without this. He’d wondered the same thing during that night in Nevada, he recalled, but this was even better than he remembered and _God_ how was he ever gonna go without again?

He built up a steady, deep rhythm, sharing open-mouthed and satisfyingly sloppy kisses with Bucky, unable to get enough of him. The feeling seemed blessedly mutual, judging by Bucky’s wandering hands and gasping breaths, the dazed look in his eyes whenever their heated gazes would meet and send Steve’s heart skipping. Everything about it was so good, so perfect, so much so that it really came as no surprise when Steve’s hips suddenly stuttered and he gasped hard as he came fast and without warning. He nearly saw stars from it, needing a moment or two to catch his breath and clear his blurry vision before he looked down to find Bucky smirking up at him. 

“That good, huh?”

Steve blushed and dropped his head. “Yeah. Seems that way.”

Bucky hummed and ran his hands over Steve’s ass, squeezing hard and biting his lip. “But it wasn’t enough, was it? You’re still hard,” he thrust upwards gently, “aren’t you?”

A growl rumbled out of Steve’s chest, a moment’s worth of over-sensitivity eclipsed by raw, unsatisfied need. Rather than respond, he pulled out and flipped Bucky over, tugging him up by his hips until he was on his hands and knees. Steve knelt behind him and wasted no time in plunging back in, Bucky letting out a punched-out sound in response and rocking back to take him even deeper. 

“God, you’re so damn beautiful,” Steve marveled, running a hand up the curve of Bucky’s spine and curling his hand around the back of his neck. Bucky seemed to melt into the touch, eagerly rocking back to meet every leisurely but deep thrust that Steve gave him. 

It took Steve by surprise, then, when Bucky reached up and took his hand and pulled it lower, wrapping Steve’s fingers around his throat. Steve fell still, eyes turning soft and questioning as Bucky tossed his hair over one shoulder and looked back at Steve. 

“Don’t squeeze hard,” he said quietly. “I just like... I like feeling the grip. Like how it makes me feel.”

Steve’s heart did the strange thing it had been doing all night again, and he couldn’t help but feel the gravity of what Bucky was choosing to trust him with. Sure, it wasn’t an uncommon thing to want when it came to sex, but considering who Bucky was and how they’d met... the fact that he seemed to trust Steve with this made Steve feel far warmer than he thought it should have. 

Steve got it together and nodded, starting to move again. This time it was less gentle, less lazy, and with Steve’s hand gripping Bucky’s throat it made it all the more intense for both men. It helped that Bucky was slippery beyond belief, Steve’s first orgasm and lube making him wetter than any woman in Steve’s memory, and Steve couldn’t explain it but it all brought out something primal from deep within. He wanted to possess this man, claim him, protect him and hold him close and make him  scream with all the pleasure his body could handle. 

He pulled Bucky up by his throat, pressing Bucky’s back to his chest and clamping his free arm over his waist as Steve began to pound away, licking and sucking at Bucky’s neck and letting the incredible moans and mewls leaving Bucky’s mouth all but intoxicate him. He tightened his grip on Bucky’s throat by just a fraction, feeling his pulse flutter wildly under his thumb, and he couldn’t help but sink his teeth into the skin between Bucky’s neck and shoulder. 

“ Fuck , _Steve_,” Bucky gasped, holding on to the strong arm wrapped around him for support, body tensing with what Steve knew was his impending release. “Oh  God , _Daddy, _ _fuck_ _._..”

Steve’s free hand slipped down and gripped Bucky’s cock, stroking it fast and hard and growling in his ear, some part of himself shocked at his own words, “Gonna be a good boy and come for Daddy?”

Bucky whimpered, reaching up and frantically tapping the hand on his throat. “Harder, please, Steve, _choke me_.”

Steve obeyed instantly, applying just enough pressure to give Bucky just what he wanted. Steve watched him slowly come undone, how he savored those last few moments of being at Steve’s mercy before it all became too much and he spilled over Steve’s hand with a muffled cry. He clenched hard around him, squeezing Steve into his third and final orgasm, grip on Bucky’s throat growing slack as he buried his face into his shoulder and moaned out his own end. 

Steve had once thought nothing could top that night in the Nevada desert, but life had a habit of proving him wrong. He was boneless and utterly sated as he carefully moved them both down on the bed on their sides, Steve spooning Bucky and holding him close as they each slowly caught their breath, racing hearts returning to a normal rhythm. 

_Yeah_ , Steve thought as he placed small, wandering kisses against the back of Bucky’s sweat-slicked neck.  _ This  had been the best sex of his life.  _

Maybe every time with Bucky would be, he mused before lifting up his head to look Bucky over. 

“You okay, Bucky?”

Bucky grinned luxuriously, letting out a lazy chuckle as he turned to look back at Steve. “Am I  okay ? Steve, I’m fuckin’  _great_ .”

Steve blushed and exhaled with relief. “Did I... I didn’t hurt you with the... did I?”

Bucky shook his head, eyes softening. “No, Steve. You did perfect. It’s kinda funny, actually,” he grinned crookedly. “You’re the strongest guy I’ve ever fucked but nobody’s ever choked me that... gently before. Wait, that’s not the right word,” he shook his head, squinting up at the ceiling and having a hard time thinking clearly in his afterglow. “You just... you were careful but perfect. Got it just right, exactly what I wanted. Usually I gotta tell them to go harder or ease up, but not you.”

Steve smiled softly, leaning in and pressing a small kiss to Bucky’s lips. “Just wanted to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”

Bucky smiled back, eyes dropping from his eyes to his lips and back again. “You’re really something else, Steve.”

Steve shook his head gently, reaching up to trace his thumb along Bucky’s lower lip. “You are.”

Bucky let out a whisper of a chuckle and kissed the tip of Steve’s thumb. “Does that mean you might be interested in becoming a loyal... and very much preferred... customer?”

And just like that, Steve’s happy delusional state collapsed like a balloon that was overinflated until it popped. He’d almost forgotten how this had all come about and that Bucky wasn’t simply in his bed because he liked him. They weren’t dating, would never be dating probably, and this... this would always be exactly what it was. 

And Steve was already too attached to say anything but what came out of his mouth next. 

“Name your price,” he replied, hiding the disappointment nagging at him from within, “and it’s yours.”

Bucky smiled wide, turning towards Steve and cozying up to him fully. “You’re so good to me, Daddy.”

Then Bucky kissed him, and Steve was pretty sure that a part of him died inside in that moment. He wanted this man so bad... so, _so_ bad ... and he didn’t even know his last name, or if Bucky was his real name. He might never know, because this was a working relationship and it would always come at a price. 

He’d pay that price, however, and he’d pay it gladly. He’d built his entire adult life on self-sacrifice and putting others before himself but when it came to this... to  _Bucky_ ... he couldn’t help but be selfish and take what he wanted, even if it would come back to hurt him later. 

And it would, he already knew it. But for now, he simply didn’t have it in him to care. 


End file.
